Rules for Naps

I posted this to another on-line spot back in 2007. I think it bears repeating.

Rules, or guidelines perhaps, for Naps, in no particular order. Disregarding them will result in a low quality nap.

1. The best naps are taken purposefully. Plan ahead.

2. Naps are most effective when taken semi-dressed, preferably dressed normally waist-up, but without pants - just underwear - and no socks. If you're the commando type, put some underwear on for the nap. You'll be pleased. Being a naked sleeper myself, I find these clothing rules hold true only for naps.

3. Naps should be taken in a bed, but on top of some of the usual covers. Only the upper-most bed covering, or preferably a throw or quilt, should be used.

4. Naps should be taken where dappled sunshine or light rain are accessible, but not directly in them. The best naps are taken in that odd, afternoon bedroom shade and quiet. The lightest breath of a breeze from an open window occasionally licking your cheek is a bonus.

5. Naps are even better if taken while someone is fixing something in the kitchen that you can eat when you get up since you'll be hungry, and you can't quite make out the chit chat or what the thing is being cooked, but you know it will be good.

6. One if not two cats must be present to watch over you for safety reasons.

7. Whoever said power-napping meant one of those twenty minute dozes was cracked. Power napping, in fact, is the ability to pass out for 1-2 hours, but have just the occasional drizzle of wakefulness. This allows for a good sleep, with the ability to still appreciate the dappled sunshine or light rain and breeze. This also allows for smelling updates on whether the food being cooked to be consumed post-nap is actually complete, signaling the end of the nap.

8. While spicy chicken sandwiches and frosties from Wendy's can replace the thing being cooked in the kitchen, it isn't really a great substitute. Try to employ a cooking relative or friend to be active in the kitchen during the nap.

9. A potty break is essential just pre-nap to avoid nap disturbances.

10. Under no circumstances answer the phone, the bell, the IM, the telepathic implant, whilst napping.

11. Team napping will result in snuggling, which results in snogging, which results in you-know-what. Nap alone, in separate bedrooms.

12. Submitted by Kyle: I've found that napping mid-day while fully clothed (even shod!) can be very successful IF, and ONLY IF you are watching a documentary narrated by Leonard Nimoy and/or have a nice, meaningful book such as "The Four Agreements" open and laying across your chest.

Your additions are solicited and welcome!